YES, I love M*****. I never told him but yes, I fell in love with him instantly. I lam literally unable to live without him. Which is why I'm planning for my death to be soon. I know I shouldn't plan these things but I'm finding it hard to just text him and tell him my True feelings . On one hand, hecould say 'I miss you too' but I really feel like he would say 'move on M****. I have'. That would push me over the edge. I would do everything in my power to wipe myself off the face of the Earth. I am trying to avoid every chance of him ever seeing me as a crazy psycho ex girlfriend. I am crazy about him. I love him so much. So much it hurts. I will wait for him forever. But whatever isn't a long time in my case. How do I get him back? I am always Reading through our old conversations. About how he wanted to take me to MoMo's, Tate and V&A. How we used to ask each other questions constantly and we got to know each other so fast.