Post 8


Well who ever is reading this.

If this is me in the future, I can hopefully assume that you are happy where you are. Hopefully found the guts to move out. In which case, you probably have someone in your life. I don't know who it is but this guy better be treating you like a queen and have a world of respect. 

If this is someone else? Am I alive? Is it worth being saved?

I'm a walking corpse. I am dead.  But damn, I'm a good actress. I don't know how I smile and interact at work. It's a challenge. But I actually enjoy work. I am out of the house. Doing things,  learning things, hanging out with my friends.  It's like my colleagues are my other family. I trust them a lot more than my own family. 

I need to move out. I need to be alive again.  I cry on the bus to work, on my lunch break and on my way home. I cry at home. I cry in my sleep. I am so unhappy.  Why must anyone live like this?

A day will come where I will swallow a whole bunch of pills and I will die. I just want to say goodbye properly to my friends.

See everyone one last time.