Post 4

I am wondering if I should take notice of signs that I am noticing. Or is it all just a coincidence? I took a different bus route today. I took the 398. In my music, I was listening to Lately by Tyrese. There is a line in there that says 'I'll be your wishing well. Tell me what you want'. As that song was playing, the bus drove past a place  (I think it was a shop) called 'The wishing well'.
A part of me thinks that I should go in there and I will meet my future husband. Another part of me thinks how stupid all this sounds. 

My uncle rang two people before he passed away. Both calls went to voicemail.  I think my life will be like thay too. Where I cry for help but no one will be willing to run to me, let alone run to answer the phone. What I'd that one call was my last call to you? Would you feel responsible for my death?

I don't know why I have to guilt people into loving me. I don't really know who my real friends are. Who would run?

I just called N*** on private number. He answered. I hung up.  Can he sense it was me?

I don't know why I expect people to have this 6th sense that they should know everything I am feeling. Gosh, what is wrong with me??

He sounded busy. So I don't think he would give it a second thought. 

Do I ever cross your mind? Do you think about me? Do you care if im alive or not? Who would miss me? How long will it take till you give up on me?